Back to my roots...

After a lot of toxicity in the work environment and many days of coming home feeling completely drained, I decided to direct my feelings the way I used to-writing.  Everyone knows the saying, the pen is mightier than the sword, and with me it certainly holds true. When I'm writing, I feel like I am in complete control. I get to bring my thoughts and vision to everyone in a way that is not only constructive to my attitude, but lets readers use their imagination and dig into the meaning of words that I'm writing. I've always loved the open interpretation of poetry and how the words that are written are left to those who happen upon them to decipher. With that being said, for today I'll share a poem I wrote just out of high school, while I draft up some ideas for new, fresh stanzas.

Here's to Me


My dear friend, here's to you and here's to me,
Our lives are a cup from which others drink;
I know together we will always be,
Never once caring what others will think.
We grew together and shared a great deal.
But time is a child's face and all must change;
These emotions I do not like to feel,
So long it has hurt, yet still very strange.
I have noticed you are not yourself though;
On my skin our friendship is now a scar.
You have spilled your cup, which no longer flows;
All that was, now lies in a fallen star.
I hoped together we would always be;
So now friend,
The hell with you, here's to me!

Disappointment...

...is the word of the day. If there was one thing I hate to hear from my parents, relatives or close friends, it's that they are disappointed in me. I can deal with people being angry or mad. But disappointment always seems to sting alot more than simple anger. Allow me to explain. To understand why disappointment hurts so much, we need to first give disappointment a definition. Disappointment to me means not living up to expectations or standards set for me. It means I let someone down, and to me and the standards that I set for myself, letting someone down just isn't an option. I can handle making a mistake and making someone mad. But the reason disappointment usually hurts more is that it usually results from an intended action or something you did that you KNEW was wrong. You knew you shouldn't have done it, you did it anyway, therefore failing in those standards that everyone holds you too.

When I first read the news of what had transpired with the Icemen organization these past few days, disappointment was my first reaction. It eventually led to anger and downright fury with the organization that I love, but the initial response was extreme disappointment. From day one, the Evansville Icemen have been an organization centered around the fans. They have been about providing big league entertainment with that small town, personal feel. You could walk into Swonder on any given game night and strike up conversations with all your friends who just happened to be the scorekeeper, the PA guy, the crowd hype guy, the booster club members, and the music maestro extraordinaire. It really was the CHEERS of hockey. You literally knew everyone involved and what they did on game nights. You could then leave the game that night and have an after game meal and beer with those same folks. It allowed us as fans to feel a certain connection with the team that you don't get anywhere else. Over the course of the past year, there have been some changes that I would say not everyone has agreed with and certainly has caused some backlash, but most importantly it has led to a disconnection between fans and team. Many fans, including myself, are starting to feel that this is not THEIR Evansville Icemen. It feels more and more like a cash machine just existing to profit FROM the fans, not provide TO the fans as they always have.

The disconnect between fan and team was made even greater with the events of the past week. First was the abrupt dismissal of our DJ/resident music genius, Michael Shockley. On top of his game night duties of music/sound effect playing on game night, Michael also wrote the game night script for our PA Guy Stephen Rickard, designed a website for the Icemen, and also created and moderated the Icemen Fan Forum. He was also instrumental in starting the Booster Club of which I am a proud member. Without him, there is no guarantee that this team would've seen the light of day as long as it has. A large part of the success of the team was his endless work in making sure the fans were entertained.  Whether the game was a 2-1 OT thriller, 6-1 loss, or 24-4 blowout win, Michael made sure that every fan in attendance was involved and into the game the entire time. From playing songs like Sweet Caroline, If you're happy and you know it, and Rock and Roll Part II where fans inserted our own flavor at the end, to playing For whom the Bell Tolls when the Icemen came out on the ice, Shocker made sure it was an experience for everyone.  I even remember sitting at home one night and listening to itunes, when 36 Mafia's "It's a Fight" started playing. I immediately thought, this would be a great song to play after an Icemen player had fisticuffs with the other team. I emailed Shocker the idea, with limited expectation of it ever actually being played. At the next home game that involved a fight, not only did he play the song, he had made an entire sound clip wrapped around it. That absolutely blew me away. He went out of his way to take a suggestion from a fan, and turn it into a staple of the game night entertainment that any fan can now identify with. If you ask any fan about any song that Shocker has played, and I guarantee they will have at least one memory of an event or circumstance surrounding it. That's what made Michael Shockley so great. He took everyday songs and clips, tied them into the game and did his damnedest to make sure everyone had a pleasurable and memorable experience.

That's why I was extremely disappointed to learn that the team had stripped him of all of his duties. Not only that, but they had served him with a C&D regarding the team name and logo, and they hired an outside company to start a brand new website and new fan forum, effectively ignoring the years of work that michael had put into maintaining a fan friendly forum that has seen huge success. They hired an outside contractor to provide the audio/visual presentation at games next season, effectively assisting him out the door with a size 12 in his ass. It was this treatment that I was appalled by. That you could take someone as dedicated as Michael Shockley, who did all that he did on a strictly volunteer basis, and not only say you're no longer needed, but to say you need to immediately stop using the team name and logo. The fact that they were willing to dismiss his hard work and dedication as easily as they did does not sit well with me. It is something that I have struggled with ever since I first read the news. It also worries me as to who or what is next in line. It seems like OUR Evansville Icemen are slowly slipping into oblivion. Piece by piece our team that we've grown to love is evolving into a new and completely different feel. It's no secret that I haven't been a big fan of the Muskegon evolution I've been seeing in Evansville, and I fear it's only a matter of time until we see this kind of sight in the new arena:

They are slowly but surely removing every piece of the "old" Icemen and inserting what they feel the organization should be. Whose to say they won't come after the Booster Club next and try to create a team run "Fan Club". They are really going in an opposite direction than the fans, and that is where the disappointment lies. They are effectively driving a wedge between the team and fans. The games will no longer have that bit of personal Evansville Icemen flavor, but will end up being more of a cookie cutter, generic sporting event experience, which in turn is going to lead to lots of failed expectations. The experience is going to, if it hasn't already, fall well below the standards that the Maniacs have set for Icemen hockey. Which will lead into major disappointments down the line, and I for one have had just about all the disappointment I can stand for one off-season.

This is my first post of the off-season, but if news like this continues to develop, you can bet you'll hear a response from me about it. Keep checking back for updates as we gear towards another season of Icemen hockey.  ~Gonzo

Giving up 3rd period leads...

This is really starting to chap my ass. While I won't complain about getting 4 out of 6 points on the backend of a gruelling road trip, I will sound off on our lack of ability to close out a game. On consecutive nights, Our 3rd period demons came out in full force and we couldn't capitalize and leave with wins, instead we let the opportunity go to waste and end up in overtime. We've signed guys to to the roster to help being shorthanded, we've proven we can score with the guys that we have on the current roster, so I don't understand why it is that we cannot close out a game. We are the worst team in the CHL in the third period, and it really shows on the ice. It's like we completely lose heart and quit playing. It is completely unacceptable. I don't know what needs to change to turn it around, but we eventually need to start taking advantage of all the opportunities presented us, especially in the third, if we want to make the playoffs, not to mention make any kind of run at a championship...We are at least showing signs of life recently which is a good thing. I will always take an OT loss or shootout loss over a regulation loss, but losses in general are really starting to get old.....

Fans who don't know how to win with class...

From the "A" minors all the way up to the bigs, in any sport, you can be assured there is a group of fans that are classless whether they win or lose. In the past month I have experienced two of those groups. Enter the Ft. Wayne Komets and St. Louis Blues.

The Komets fans, while extremely ugly during the game, are a bit more forgivable in this case. While a lot of their actions during the game were seriously ugly and over the line at times (like a grown woman cursing at a child for cheering on her team, or everyone in the arena flipping off the Icemen fans because we were louder and more energetic than they were), they at least knew after the game that we were all people and it was just a game. We had several people wish us safe travels home, and all was well. Don't get me wrong they still suck and I still don't agree with the way they handled themselves towards opposing fans, but they get credit for leaving it in the arena.

St. Louis Blues, you are the worst of the two sample groups in this post. We were heckled in game by many people sitting behind us, and were lucky to have Devils fans sitting right beside us and a pair of extremely nice young ladies in front of us who made the experience a bit more bearable. Every time I got out of my seat, someone had a smart ass comment of some sort. One man even went as far as to call me "Situation" and proceeded to tell me to go back to Jersey. Really? REALLY?! First off I am 5'10 and weigh close to 300 lbs. and look nothing like situation or any other Guido for that matter. Second, just because I am a Devils fan, does not mean I am from Jersey. The list goes on and on and on. There was an episode with a drunk man in the mens' room, and lots of comments as we walked through the arena. Again this was all during the game, so it is somewhat understandable. However the part that I cannot and will not forgive, is the shit that happened after the game.

I have an uncle who lives in St. Louis and who met up with us prior to the game and decided to go with us. Problem is our seats were on the glass and his seats were in the upper decks. So we decided when the game was over, we would meet up outside and walk back to the cars together. Me and Ashley got out pretty quickly since we were on ground level and didn't have to fight much of a crowd. The problem is that we had to face every one of the Blues fans exiting the arena while waiting for my uncle. All of the drunk guys walking by, swearing, and telling us we suck ( not the Devils suck...WE suck), people again telling us to go back to jersey, mocking our players, and making all sorts of obscene gestures.

I mean, you WON the game. What more do you want? Our evening was bad enough because our team lost, but to rub salt in the wounds? Real classy there. Seriously how hard is it to just celebrate with your family and friends and go on your merry way? People would do well to remember that it is JUST A GAME. All the heckling during the game is completely  understandable, but after the game to wish harm on people and heckle them even more? It is seriously uncalled for. As much as I love winning and supporting a winning team, I would never wish any ill-will on fans after a game, especially complete strangers who I will most likely never see again. I mean, you must have some serious issues to heckle a complete stranger that mercilessly. I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if I wished harm on someone then 5 minutes later saw them in a life altering accident or something like that.

People tend to lose sight of the fact that this is just a game. There will always be another game and another season. It boils down to the Golden Rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If I was the old me, I probably would've ended up in jail in St. Louis the other night because of the fans shit talking. There were a few moments I wanted to just jump on those drunken idiots and bash there heads against the Brett Hull statue standing in front of their arena. But I didn't act on those feelings. I recognized the fact that it was just a game, you survive to fight another day and life goes on. Others would do well to recognize that. Seriously people. GROW UP AND QUIT ACTING LIKE 2 YEAR OLDS....ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE ON THE WINNING SIDE OF THINGS...it makes no sense for you to be that ruthless after you just won a game....quit making things personal and just enjoy your team and your sport. It's really not that complicated....

Retarded people and their false sense of entitlement.

So for those that don't know I work as a Business Customer Service Representative for AT&T Mobility. I have worked in call center environments in the past, but have never talked to as many idiots as I have in my 14 months at AT&T. Never in my life have I ever seen someone who has had service for two days and calls in to request credits on their account, and for no reason whatsoever. They were happy with the phones, the service, and their plan. They just wanted something for free. And then there's the lady who has had service for 6 months with 1 line on her account who calls and demands a free phone. For no reason. She just wants a free phone. Again nothing wrong with her current phone or service. She just wants a free phone. I guess our customers think we are a freakin charity or non profit organization or something.

But the people who just want free stuff don't piss me off near as bad as the idiots who can't fucking read. I  understand a bill  layout can be confusing and you may not know where to find something on the bill. But that doesn't excuse you from being able to read on a single line what the feature is, what bill cycle it is for, and how much you are paying for it. HOW IS THAT SO FUCKING COMPLICATED? I mean seriously. You learn to read in elementary school for petes' sake. And the idiots who want to complain about the taxes on their bill; why are calling me? Call you fucking government officials and cry about that.

I know that being a call center representative for a mobility company, I was going to take some crap from customers. In any given call center, that's a guarantee. I figured I'd take calls about people complaining about their phones not working, dropped calls, wanting to make arrangements to pay their bills, and just to bitch in general. But I NEVER, and I mean NEVER expected the level of stupidity that I experience on a daily basis. The scary thing is that the majority of the people I deal with are business owners. Let me repeat that: BUSINESS OWNERS. How can you own your own business, but when I ask you to press your menu key you reply "You want me to smash that button right there?" Or when I ask them to verify their account # and they say "oh you want my SSN, ok here it is" (while they proceed to give me their entire SSN, even though its not even associated with their account) or "you want my tax id?" If I want your SSN or tax id, I will ask for your SSN or tax id. I would really like to know how these people ever figured out how to even START their own business, not to mention keep it afloat, with IQ's like that.

I swear I am slowly but surely losing faith in AT&T's customer base as well as humanity, one call at a time. Here's to hoping they all cancel and go to T-Mobile or something. At least then they wouldn't be my problem anymore...

Let's get to it...

So my first post...What ever shall I talk about? How 'bout Muskegon? More specifically fans of the Muskegon Lumberjacks. I mean these people are really delusional enough to think that the Evansville Icemen are STILL the Muskegon Lumberjacks. (and us Icemen fans are known as Maniacs?!) They want everyone to believe that the Icemen folded and their guys came to save the day and keep hockey alive in Evansville. When in reality hockey in Evansville was/is thriving while hockey in Muskegon is slowly dying.

The fact that they come to our arena in Swonder is great. We'll take your money, no problem. But don't think for one minute that you have my respect or admiration. Especially when you come down and flaunt your Muskegon Fury/Lumberjack paraphernalia, and acting like this is still your team. I'm sorry did I miss the game where the Evansville players skated onto the ice at Swonder with Lumberjacks jerseys on? This is not the Muskegon Icemen, the Muskegon Fury or Lumberjacks, and it most CERTAINLY is NOT the Evansville Lumberjacks. We are the Evansville Icemen. This is Evansville's team. We in fact saved you're players and staff from unemployment, not the other way around. When your city decided it wanted to play hockey with toddlers, your players and staff were instantly out of a job. We gave them an opportunity to continue their careers and to start a dynasty in Evansville. The fact that they accepted that offer makes them Evansville Icemen. Like it or not. The Icemen did not fold as you like to write on their wikipedia page seen here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evansville_IceMen. They did not cease operations as you claim. They in fact raised the standard for hockey in Evansville by jumping from the AAHL into the CHL and have begun making hockey a staple in the Evansville community.

So if you want to cheer the Icemen, bring it on. we will never turn away fans. But leave the Muskegon Lumberjacks shit, the "Holier than Thou" act, and piss poor attitude where it belongs. In Muskegon. If you want to love ya some Lumberjacks, there's a nice group of young lads playing hockey in the USHL that I'm sure could use some fans. Or maybe not support them at all, like you did with your FORMER Lumberjacks, and let that team fold too. I know I can speak for all of us Maniacs when I say we have too much pride to let our team fall into oblivion like you did with muskegon. It's a damn shame, but you have no one to blame but yourselves, and now you want to come to Evansville and act like you're some kind of savior in our community. PUH-LEASE. And that's all I have to say about that.